Hey, tell me if I didn't spell levethian right. Either it's not in my Webster's or I've REALLY spelled it wrong.
It's not all bad when you go to explore your unconscious. Some of it is really fun. So next is a poem about the fun part.
Love,
Red Paw
Monday, August 20, 2007
Poem: Unconscious Sea of Love
Unconscious Sea of Love
The brain is a vast deep sea
Mostly not accessible to you or me
The surface chop or calm or waves is all we see
And we wonder why we do the things we do
We're riding on the surface of a stew
Those brave enough to dive in deep are few
The depths are dark and levethians abide
And we wonder why we do the things we do
I was so frightened and alone when I dived
I wondered if I'd still be alive
I'm thankful there are helpers when you strive
And we wonder why we do the things we do
Pearls from the bottom of the sea
Gifts that the spirits gave to me
Back in the sun again my heart is filled with glee
And we wonder why we do the things we do
Be joyful if your depths are calling you
Those brave enough to dive the depths are few
Love and strength and stubbornness will see you through
Sometimes we have to do the things we do
6/28/05
The brain is a vast deep sea
Mostly not accessible to you or me
The surface chop or calm or waves is all we see
And we wonder why we do the things we do
We're riding on the surface of a stew
Those brave enough to dive in deep are few
The depths are dark and levethians abide
And we wonder why we do the things we do
I was so frightened and alone when I dived
I wondered if I'd still be alive
I'm thankful there are helpers when you strive
And we wonder why we do the things we do
Pearls from the bottom of the sea
Gifts that the spirits gave to me
Back in the sun again my heart is filled with glee
And we wonder why we do the things we do
Be joyful if your depths are calling you
Those brave enough to dive the depths are few
Love and strength and stubbornness will see you through
Sometimes we have to do the things we do
6/28/05
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Poem: Street Angel Crabs
Street Angel Crabs
Now
I see
The street angel crabs
Their eyes meet mine
They know
I've molted
I know they have
I acknowledge each of them
That I meet
Scarred, seared, torn in the attack
After molting
Bright angels
God loves you
Even if the world does not
8/16/05
Now
I see
The street angel crabs
Their eyes meet mine
They know
I've molted
I know they have
I acknowledge each of them
That I meet
Scarred, seared, torn in the attack
After molting
Bright angels
God loves you
Even if the world does not
8/16/05
Poem: Molting
Molting
I am growing
My shell hurts
It hurts it hurts!
I cannot shed it
I try and try and try
I fight
I seek allies and help
I fight
One year, two years, nearly three
I'm free
My shell suddenly releases and slides off
I can feel my soft body expand
To my real size
Bigger
Joy!
Oh!
They're attacking!
Why why!
My brothers! My sisters!
My partners!
No!
Your claws hurt!
They are cutting me
Ow ow stop why!
I run
Scuttle sideways
Soft and clumsy
Scurry
Hide
In the mud
Why why?
Oh, my wounds ache
Stabbed by multiple claws
Deepest pain
In my heart
At this betrayal.
I hide
I sit
I think
It was so hard
To shed my shell
Why would they attack?
Oh!
Their shells hurt too!
Their words
They were grabbing me
To see how I'd shed my shell
They were desperate
Oh they must be in such pain!
Can I forgive them?
Do they know not what they do?
I hide
I sit
I think
I heal
My shell is strong now
I am bigger
I will go forth
And see who is trying to shed their shell
I will try to protect the newly molted.
8/16/05
I am growing
My shell hurts
It hurts it hurts!
I cannot shed it
I try and try and try
I fight
I seek allies and help
I fight
One year, two years, nearly three
I'm free
My shell suddenly releases and slides off
I can feel my soft body expand
To my real size
Bigger
Joy!
Oh!
They're attacking!
Why why!
My brothers! My sisters!
My partners!
No!
Your claws hurt!
They are cutting me
Ow ow stop why!
I run
Scuttle sideways
Soft and clumsy
Scurry
Hide
In the mud
Why why?
Oh, my wounds ache
Stabbed by multiple claws
Deepest pain
In my heart
At this betrayal.
I hide
I sit
I think
It was so hard
To shed my shell
Why would they attack?
Oh!
Their shells hurt too!
Their words
They were grabbing me
To see how I'd shed my shell
They were desperate
Oh they must be in such pain!
Can I forgive them?
Do they know not what they do?
I hide
I sit
I think
I heal
My shell is strong now
I am bigger
I will go forth
And see who is trying to shed their shell
I will try to protect the newly molted.
8/16/05
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Poem: Demon Chainers
Demon Chainers
And you thought the hard work was over
Finding your demons
Facing them
Adopting them
Comforting them
Learning to love the parts that no one loved
That you hid as a child
Mothering your own unloved self
Fathering the parts he couldn't love
And to surface knowing that you are a child of God
And lovable
Only to be attacked
With a concerted effort
To return you to what you were before
Don't be frightened enough to give up
You are right
You are still a child of God
Lovable
In your wholeness
Talents and faults
Those who attack
Feel their demons
Clamoring at them
Clawing
When you learned to love yours
They want to be loved too
So badly
But their keepers are frightened
They are pressing their demons back into the depths
Desperate
Attack you for you have made them feel their sorrows
All unaware
Seek those who have also
Dealt with their demons
And they will welcome you
You are not crazy
To feel the euphoria
Of surfacing
But do not get carried away
And be kind to the demon chainers
Remember where you were before.
8/16/05
And you thought the hard work was over
Finding your demons
Facing them
Adopting them
Comforting them
Learning to love the parts that no one loved
That you hid as a child
Mothering your own unloved self
Fathering the parts he couldn't love
And to surface knowing that you are a child of God
And lovable
Only to be attacked
With a concerted effort
To return you to what you were before
Don't be frightened enough to give up
You are right
You are still a child of God
Lovable
In your wholeness
Talents and faults
Those who attack
Feel their demons
Clamoring at them
Clawing
When you learned to love yours
They want to be loved too
So badly
But their keepers are frightened
They are pressing their demons back into the depths
Desperate
Attack you for you have made them feel their sorrows
All unaware
Seek those who have also
Dealt with their demons
And they will welcome you
You are not crazy
To feel the euphoria
Of surfacing
But do not get carried away
And be kind to the demon chainers
Remember where you were before.
8/16/05
returning from the journey is just as hard
My last post was about feeling attacked and unexpectedly at work. I think that is a common experience during individuation, though not necessarily at work: could be friends or at home. To go through my process I had to go way inside and try to figure out who I was, who I was really married to (not who I thought I was married to) and what in my history and culture and family rules had led me to the really awful place that I was in. So, you do all that work, took me 3-5 years depending on when I count from and then I thought things were breaking through! I was changing! I understood some things! I didn't have psychomotor slowing for the first time in 2 years and what a relief!
That is when people around me reacted. I couldn't believe it at first. Here I was better, I was happy, I'd worked so hard and I was being slapped. Work and family. I think that the journey back from individuation is just as hard or harder than the journey into it. You have to go deep internally to look at your assumptions and your demons. When you come back, it triggers other peoples' demons and they hate that. We also as a culture say that everyone can change and be better than ever but our culture also hates it when someone does something different. I wrote a litter of poems trying to understand what had happened and why. The first one was Advice to Micheal, which I already posted. Next is another.
Blessings.
Red Paw
That is when people around me reacted. I couldn't believe it at first. Here I was better, I was happy, I'd worked so hard and I was being slapped. Work and family. I think that the journey back from individuation is just as hard or harder than the journey into it. You have to go deep internally to look at your assumptions and your demons. When you come back, it triggers other peoples' demons and they hate that. We also as a culture say that everyone can change and be better than ever but our culture also hates it when someone does something different. I wrote a litter of poems trying to understand what had happened and why. The first one was Advice to Micheal, which I already posted. Next is another.
Blessings.
Red Paw
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