Fool

Fool

I am a fool
A buffoon
I fall over my son's shoes
Wondering why they are lying
In front of the door
Not once but twice

My mind is lost
In the wilds
Of thought, speculation and memory
The picture drops from the wall
I'm not even home
Kids call me
To say what happened
We clean it up
Yet I forget
And my sister cuts her foot
I didn't warn her

I understand why saints and mystics
Sometimes seem crazy
Angels hover near
The tips of their wings
Brush distant galaxies
But I am a mom
The kids need dinner now
I drop a plate
Clumsy fool
In spite of angels
I am grounded

8/27/07

Drug Companies

As a family doctor I am getting less and less enthused about drug companies. I do think there are some good medicines. Exercise works wonders though, and walking in the woods and on the beaches or anywhere outside. I really do read some of the junk mail from drug companies very carefully just to see what they are encouraging me to do. Some of the pamphlets seriously creep me out.

I'm listing the talky part of the blog before the poem or song starting today because I don't like reading it from the bottom up. Also, I learned to spell questionnaire. I can now rest on my laurels.

Red Paw

The Doctor's Educational Blues

The Doctor's Educational Blues

Helpful pamphlets
Come in the mail

Primary care
Diagnosis and treatment
For bipolar disorder
Is particularly popular
Right now

An article or journal
Arrives nearly every day

I read one
Sponsored by a helpful
Grant from Astra-Zenica

They happen to make
A drug
FDA approved
For treatment

The pamphlet says
1 percent
of the population
Is bipolar
Using the DSM IV criteria
For diagnosis
(Developed by psychiatrists
Experts in mental health)

But it says
If we use a broader definition
Than the DSM IV criteria
Then 2-8% of the population
Is bipolar

They have a questionnaire
For me to use
On patients
To diagnose
This disorder

They fail to mention
If they used the strict
DSM IV criteria
Or the looser criteria
To make the questionnaire

I can see that Astra-Zenica
Will sell more drugs
If we loosen up the diagnosis

I sit and wonder
How helpful it is
To change the diagnosis
And put more people
On medicine

Helpful to Astra-Zenica
No doubt

The pamphlet has a chart
Showing the range of feeling
Normal to manic

Normal is listed as
Happy and joyous

I sit and wonder
How many of us
Would feel that we are normal
Looking at that chart

Not me


5/19/06

Song: Little Blue Pill

Little Blue Pill

Little blue pill
Little blue pill
Help me help me
I'm over the hill

Don't wanna have sex
Nope nope nope
Little blue pill
Gives my husband hope

Can't make a pill
Til we define the disease
Doctors would you
Hurry up please

Little blue pill
Little blue pill
Help me help me
I'm over the hill

Thought them hormones
Would make me hot
Doc was right
They did not

Hot flashes make me
Swing my fan
No help from that
Testosterman

Little blue pill
Little blue pill
Help me help me
I'm over the hill

Doctor this
Is really no joke
My husband says
He'll slit his throat

Can't make a pill
Til we define the disease
They're trying hard
Those drug companies

Little blue pill
Little blue pill
Help me help me
I'm over the hill

I think we'll know
If they define a disease
Drug companies will tell us
On tv

Doctor I found
Just the thing
A brand new stimulating
Clitoral ring

Don't wanna have sex
Nope nope nope
Little blue pill
Gives my husband hope


6/4/06

Compassion

Don't gimme none o your damn compassion. Compassion is too often passion with a superiority complex. Instead, tell me what are you doing with your anger, your grief, your sorrow?

There, I probably got my R Blog rating, right? So let's go with that.

I got a guitar for Christmas. Now I know what I want to sing. I want to sing the blues.

Love,
Red Paw

Gin With Mara

Gin With Mara


I was tired of running away
There was no where left to hide

So I sat down
To play gin rummy
With Mara

I had run so far
I didn't have many cards left
Only 3

Mara said, "Keep them"
She pulled a deck from her sleeves
Shuffled
Let me cut
She took three cards

I played curiosity
She played grief

I knew Mara would let me run
But I would lose, again

I was plunged
Into the place
I had avoided
A well
I thought I'd drown
As the waters closed over my head

This game is played over days
Months
Even years

I played strength
Mara played shame

I fought
I struggled
I writhed

I played tenacity
Mara smiled
She played fear

I was trapped
Overwhelmed
My heart trembled
My mind clamored
Tried to escape from my skull

I had no cards
"Draw, " said Mara

I drew
I looked at my card
I played despair

Dark, dark
I sat
I sat
I sat

Mara played want
Mara played vulnerability
Mara played

Dark, dark

Mara played joy

I stared

Mara said, "You lost the cards as you ran,
Remember?"

I touched her hand
She dissolved into me
The cards all falling about us

We picked them up
And went on


1/25/07

Poem: Puttering

Puttering


I'm puttering around in my brain
Seeing just what I find
Isn't it funny
How a bear likes honey
And how much of the time
I think in rhyme
I'm puttering around in my brain

Now it's less of a strain
To putter and play in my brain
When I was down
I went around and around
I wanted to get off that train

It's fun to be up in the light
After the long dark night
I have such a full heart
I don't know where to start
I'm glad I continued to fight

I'm puttering around in my brain
Seeing just what I find
Isn't it funny
How a bear likes honey
And how much of the time
I think in rhyme
I'm puttering around in my brain


6/28/05