Scape that Goat

Scape that Goat

Raise the drawbridge, build the moat
We'll be fine once we've scaped that goat
Appease the gods by slitting her throat
We needed one so we took a vote
We're scared of lions, tigers and stoats
We won't admit how much we gloat
Throw a passenger out of the boat
Sacrifice her to the dragon's throat
We're safe for now; that's all she wrote

9/21/07

format

Powergirl didn't quite format right. The second line of each phrase indents. That was very satisfying to write and feels good to post too. I'm trying to sort out how often angels have turned up in my poems. Biggest thing about divorce for me was that after I tried for two years to see if we could meet in the middle (couples counseling) then the choice between modeling misery and getting out seemed easy. Modeling happy single parenting seemed like a much better idea. Took another year after that poem.

Love,
Red Paw

Powergirl Takes Off

Powergirl Takes Off

Powergirl have wings
to fly
She related to
Superfly
She scared when
baby almost die
She scared and yes'n'she
do cry

Husband say she much
too strong
He say she most allays
wrong
He sing and dance de
same old song
He rather she put on
a thong
He played too much with
that old bong

Now man he working
ooh he big
He have no time for
little kid
Not that he ever
really did

She researches kides
summer camps
She studies schedules late
with lamps
Pay de money, lick de
stamps

Husband say she got too
much power
He say it nearly every
hour
He grumpy sullen and really
sour

Powergirl got wings
to fly
She look with longing
at the sky
She look at husband
wonder why

She finally realized he
a pain
She take a saw to
ball and chain
Husband he whine and
complain
She wonder why he
goddamn insane
She learn divorce lawyer
nice name

Husband lie on ground and
moan
He whine and bitch all on
de phone
Powergirl leave him there
alone
He drink and fuck and get
real stoned

Powergirl have wings
to fly
She rising rising
in the sky
Kids light as she is
hollow bones
They scared to leave
familiar home
Ride on her shoulders
in the sky
She hopes that they will
learn to fly


7/15/05

Witness

Witness

Sometimes
Even as you make
The same mistake
Cross the threshold
Open the door
Lift the glass

You feel the presence
Of angels
Drawn by the seriousness
Of your decision
Present
Not to pull you away
From the cup
The drug
The wrong man
The dire pattern
You feel their intensity
The presence
As if outer space
Has clung to their wings
Or motes from heaven
Alien
The weight of their gaze
And their interest

Sometimes
Even as you make
The same mistake
It's not the same
To sense an angel
Witness


6/25/05

Ride Forth

Ride Forth

My grandmother
Packed all her troubles in her saddlebags
And rode forth singing

My mother
Packed all her troubles in her saddlebags
And rode forth singing

My father
Was the only one
Who ever saw the contents
He tried to drown them

My mother was loved
For her charm

I ride forth
Sometimes I sing
Sometimes I weep

My saddlebags are empty

Prayer flags flutter
Slowly shred
In the wind

I write my troubles
And my joys
On cloth
And thank the Beloved
For each

My horse is white
When I sing
Black
When I cry
A rainbow of colors
In between
The whole spectrum
That the Beloved allows

After I emptied
My saddlebags
I tried to leave them
But the people I met
Most, most, most
Were frightened

A naked woman
On a naked horse

I had to leave my village
When I learned to ride her
Made friends with her
Beloved
My village does not allow tears
When she turns black
Their saddlebags squirm and fight
The people try to throw them on my horse

In other places
The horses are all black
The white aspect of the Beloved
Frightens them
And they attack

I carry saddlebags
And Beloved is a gentle dapple gray
And the illusion of clothes surrounds me
When we meet new people
Until we know
It is safe to shine
Bright
And dark

I hope that others ride with the Beloved
In full rainbow

I ride forth
Sometimes I sing
Sometimes I weep

Even the color lonely
Is a part of the Beloved

9/1/06

On today's poems

My chest has been hurting for about 2 months. It's old pain, emotions, I could tell that. I tried to let it be, ie not suppress it, but didn't really go towards it. No, it's not a heart attack. On Monday I had to drive somewhere, leading another car. My daughter was with me and she is perfectly content to have the car be quiet. I decided to really open up to the old pain and the first poem I posted today started forming. I didn't drive badly, but I was so focused on it that I got us lost not once, but twice. And the friend took over for the last bit and led the way. So then I wrote the second poem, fool. I get so distracted working on some poem or thought direction that I really do trip over things, the same things over and over. When I get emotionally tired in clinic I start tripping over my own feet.

Child is also written for one of my clinic patients who told me about his childhood.

Beloved is from Rumi.

I was just loaned a copy of Joseph Campbell's "the masks of god: Creative Mythology". I'd read the first page before I wrote Child. Three pages later is TS Eliot's The Waste Land. "Here is no water but only rock." My thought was that women know rock isn't eternal and there must be something under it, bedrock or no. It's only called bedrock, right? We know there is a molten core.

Love,
Red Paw

Child

Child

You work at healing
For years

You dive in the swamp
Of your psyche
Turn over the mud
Tunnel through it
Breathe it
See lilies arise
From the much

The Beloved is a deer
Dainty hooves
In the swamp

At last you come
To bedrock

So you rest
Bedrock
You think

Until you notice
A chink in the rock
You look away
You avoid it

At last you look
It isn't going away

The Beloved is a bittern
In the reeds

Fluid leaks
From the chink

Foul black bilious
Acidic
Etching trails in the slanted rock
Again you look away
But not for long

You step forward
Touch the rock

I am present you say
Who is there?

The stream of foul black
Increases
Pours from a widening crack

Beloved is a tiger
Paw against the rock
You see the acid burning
Her paw
But she does not run
She stands guard

Who are you?
You whisper

The rock crumbles

There is a child

"Go away" says the child
Ancient

No you say
Beloved and I
Stay present

The black is swirling around you
It's hard to keep your footing
Beloved, an orca
Steadies you, swimming

No one stays says the child

We stay present you say

I was born
I loved
I was abandoned
When I was afraid

We are present now you say
Swimming by the Beloved
Hand on black fin

I was abandoned
When I grieved

We are here now you say

I was abandoned
In my despair

We are here you say

You say
You fought
out of love
You argued
out of love
You gave
out of love
Please child
Let us cradle you

The child is silent

The tide is slowing
Clearing
The rock has crumbled away

You will stay? says the child

We stay you say

Beloved is a whale
Singing in space
Singing to the stars

Am I lovable? says the child

You and Beloved
Earth and sky
Wind and trees
Moon and stars
Answer yes

Am I loved?

yes
yes


8/27/07